October 2008

Reasons Not to Skimp on Sleep

Getting a good night’s sleep could be one of the smartest health
priorities you schedule for your day. Some possible health consequences
of getting too little or poor sleep can involve cardiovascular,
endocrine, immune and nervous systems. Between 50 to 70 million
Americans suffer from a chronic sleep disorder, such as insomnia or
sleep apnea, which affects daily functioning.

Research has shown:

1. Insufficient sleep appears to tip hunger hormones out of whack.
   Leptin, which suppresses appetite, is lowered; and ghrelin, which
   stimulates appetite, gets a boost.
2. You’re more apt to make bad food choices that would entail a diet
   higher in cholesterol, protein, total fat and total saturated fat.
   Women were especially affected.
3. Those getting five or fewer hours of sleep each night were 2.5 times more likely to be diabetic.
4. Women who sleep five or fewer hours per night were 45 percent more likely to have heart attacks.
5. Blood pressure may increase. Obesity plays a role here, so losing weight can ease this.
6. Auto accidents rise. Nearly 20 percent of serious car-crash
   injuries involve a sleepy driver, and that’s independent of alcohol use.
7. Older folks who wake up at night and are drowsy during the day are more likely to fall due to being off balance.
8. Adults, adolescents and middle schoolers report more symptoms of depression and lower self esteem.
9. More behavior problems are seen in kids who are plagued by lack of sleep.
10. There is approximately a 15 percent greater risk of dying for those who get five hours or less of sleep per night. [news.yahoo.com]

From today’s Star Tribune:

“Jodi Barry is not the first lesbian to be ordained into a Lutheran ministry. But her ordination Saturday was a new step toward what supporters hope will be greater acceptance of gays and lesbian pastors by the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA).

The ceremony was hosted by Grace University Lutheran Church in Minneapolis, where Barry has been a youth minister intern for a year, but it was conducted by Extraordinary Lutheran Ministries (ELM), a national network committed to full acceptance of gay and lesbian pastors in the Lutheran church.

The ceremony marked one of the first ordinations since the ELCA adopted a “refrain and restraint” policy in August 2007. Intended to ease a divisive issue without changing the ELCA’s position against gay clergy, the policy instructs church leaders not to respond harshly when individual congregations or other groups choose a gay or lesbian minister.”

Train wreck, thy name is ELCA.

Does your church use 1-ply or 2-ply toilet paper? The soft stuff, or the “John Wayne” toilet paper - the stuff that is rough, tough, and doesn’t take crap from anyone? While it seems like something small, I think things like toilet paper make a difference when somebody new visits your church. The cost difference for most churches between the soft as sandpaper TP and the good stuff is very small. And keep your women’s bathrooms amazingly clean. It will make a difference.

Another thought is that if you operate a store that caters mainly to women who spend more than 5 minutes in your store, then you need a seating area for men, and possibly a play area for kids. It doesn’t have to be something big, just something functional. Every minute that a man can sit allows a woman to shop longer. Every minute a mom can shop without distraction with kids playing nearby allows that woman to shop longer. Studies show that the longer a person is in a store, the more likely they are to buy something, and the more money will spend on average. If you aren’t doing these things, you are letting money walk out the door. And if you want to really make the shopping experience great for men, put a nice flat screen TV in the seating area, and tune it to ESPN or whatever game may be on. Most (not all) men will gladly “shop” in a woman’s store where they can catch up on the scores.

Sunday evening my wife and I join some friends in the Twin Cities for a viewing of a movie called “Call & Response“. For a full-on review from a professional I recommend the review at Culture11.com.

From the Call and Response website:

The Call and Response film is a catalyst to engage the public in fighting human trafficking. In it, we graphically portray the state of modern-day slavery, and call our audience to respond to it. Our goal is to inspire the public to support high impact efforts by effective organizations.

After the movie we all stood outside the theater (in the cold!) talking about what we thought of the movie. Overall, it was fantastic, in a very sad and painful way. Human trafficking is not often talked about, but it goes on, even here in Minnesota. Just last year 8 brothels in Minnesota were shut down. So it goes on here. And it extends beyond the sex trade industry. The movie did a good job of pointing out that there are many industries where slavery is used. The mining of minerals used in cell phones is a good example.

So my suggestion is to seek this movie out. Watch it, talk about it, tell others about it. This is a HUGE problem that is off most people’s radar, and it shouldn’t be. Make a difference. This is not a movie for young children, the issues and situations in the movie are very serious and heartbreaking. I’d say 14 & up, and I’d suggest previewing it before showing to your 14-17 year old (Rated PG-13). The production level was high, I was impressed considering it is a low budget film. The format of the film was very different than any other I have seen. It would hit you hard for a period, and then a musical performer would sing a song, breaking up this otherwise very heavy subject. They maintained a good balance throughout, never getting preachy, but yet pushing you to think about what is going on, often right in our own back yards.

Some of the artist who donated their are: Cornel West, Madeleine Albright, Daryl Hannah, Julia Ormond, Ashley Judd, Nicholas Kristof, and many other prominent political and cultural figures offer first hand account of this 21st century trade. Performances from Grammy-winning and critically acclaimed artists including Moby, Natasha Bedingfield, Cold War Kids, Matisyahu, Imogen Heap, Talib Kweli, Five For Fighting, Switchfoot, members of Nickel Creek and Tom Petty’s Heartbreakers, Rocco Deluca move this chilling information into inspiration for stopping it.

Here’s a trailer for the movie:

You can read the article on my primary blog - Because I said so.  Thanks for reading!

Roger E. Olson (PhD, Rice University) is professor of theology at
George W. Truett Theological Seminary of Baylor University in Waco,
Texas and he offered these questions on the Koinonia Blog.  I’m not advocating one side or the other, both sets of questions beg to be answered.

5 Questions to consider before voting Republican:

1) What will happen to the poor in a Republican administration?

2) Will a Republican administration pursue world peace?

3) How will a Republican administration promote mercy, compassion and justice for all?

4) Is a Republican administration likely to be unduly influenced by large corporations?

5) Can a Republican administration show respect for every human person’s dignity and rights?

5 Questions to consider before voting Democratic:

1) What will happen to the not-yet-born in a Democratic administration?

2) Will a Democratic administration keep America and others safe from terrorism?

3) How will a Democratic administration promote security and safety for Americans and others?

4) Is a Democratic administration likely to be unduly influenced by liberal special interest groups?

5) Can a Democratic administration show respect for traditional family values?

I want a cell phone provider who allows me to block people from sending me text messages.  A simple online interface that could control it.  I would like to be able to say that only people in my address book can text me without my approval.  A simple approval system that can be managed via phone or on the net.

Is that too much to ask?  No more spam texts.  No more stoners I don’t know texting me at 3:00AM looking to score.  The guy who had my phone number before me must’ve been a total pot head tool.

If you are a man, or if you know a man, you need to read this article. Same goes for ladies. Read this article. This article comes from the Husbands and Dads Blog.

Written by Chris Diggins, professional counselor (LMHC). You can check out his practice and blog by visiting Relationship Counseling Seattle.

Pornography is sometimes viewed as “normal” or an “art form.” A person might say, “What’s wrong with it?…I am not hurting anybody….everybody does it.” Those who promote, want to use, or can’t stop using porn, often have this perspective.

Here are some of the harmful consequences:

1. Porn often leads to more harmful sexually addictive behavior; e.g., compulsive masturbation, fantasy, promiscuity, exhibitionism, soliciting prostitutes, pedophilia, and rape. The user tends to gravitate toward the type of porn most being observed.

2. Porn by its very nature isolates an individual-making him more intent on satisfying selfish needs even at the expense of his marriage, family, financial stability, and career.

3. Porn stimulates a very powerful sexual desire followed by sexual release, most often through masturbation. Unfortunately, the release provides only momentary satisfaction, then an escalation of the behavior is required in an attempt to maintain a high level of sexual arousal.

4. Porn has the ability to control the user where he cannot stop. The fantasies occur more frequently as the addiction progresses.

Of the two pleasure centers in the brain, one is high impact, thrilling pleasure stimulated by pornography, erotic fantasies, or new sexual encounters. The other is a steady, less intense pleasure realized by walking on a beach, making love with a long term partner, helping a child with homework, experiencing deep feelings (painful or pleasant) and sharing them in a significant relationship.

A man doesn’t have to act out in dramatic ways to create harm in his life. Satisfaction can be achieved in small ways and still be detrimental. A beginner gets tastes of the high impact pleasure and slowly starts to integrate fantasies, images, and desires into everyday thoughts and behaviors. Even if he does not graduate to more involvement, this infiltration will still have a negative impact.

Supermodel Christy Brinkley’s family was destroyed by pornography. She and her husband, Peter Cook, had viewed porn together and considered it harmless. Then she discovered he had been masturbating via a web cam over the internet and had an affair with his 18 year old secretary whom he had groomed for sex since she was 15. She then pursued a public divorce trial to openly display his shameful behavior. In the settlement she was awarded full custody of the children. These severe consequences are just one example of what can happen to people.

People who stimulate the high impact pleasure center too often rarely get enough satisfaction. Porn can generate this type of pleasure with little effort. Once a man is hooked, he will have an extremely difficult time transitioning to healthy, more stable pleasure.

In my psychotherapy practice, couples enter therapy where the man has been caught using porn or acting out sexually. His wife is shocked, dismayed, and extremely angry about the betrayal. More often than not, they both believe it is about willpower and if he could only stay away from the computer, the prostitutes, or the porn, everything would be okay. They fail to realize that the sexual behavior is the symptom not the problem.

This is not like a substance addiction where a user can avoid a drink, a pusher or a drug. This compulsive behavior is lethal, since a man cannot simply avoid erotic thoughts. Especially in our culture, provocative images are everywhere. The underlying problem is that he is addicted to high intensity pleasure and does not know how to experience pleasure from everyday, ordinary life situations; such as, spending quality time with his family or having intimate talks and sharing with his wife. Frequently, neither partner knows how to enjoy these simple pleasures, therefore, it is not just the man who needs therapy. The marriage needs an overhaul where both have to address emotional issues.

I inform the couple, “this unfortunate, painful event can be used to open your eyes and turn your marriage around…you can end up with a wonderful marriage, one you never knew was possible. Yes, your husband betrayed you and he is responsible to repair the damage done to you…and his behavior is indicative of a person who is unhappy, bored, anxious, even depressed in his marriage. He did not know what to do to address his unhappiness. If he is so unhappy that he is willing to endanger his marriage, then more than likely you also are in an unsatisfying marriage….at some point you both will look back on this and the porn will no longer be an issue…in fact you will even be grateful that he got caught.”

The couple needs to learn to replace the depression, loneliness, anxiety and the high intensity pleasure with the everyday pleasures of delight and wonder for their marriage and their family life.

With the clinical evidence rapidly mounting against pornography use, the question remains: how can couples explore intimacy and their sexuality with suffering the negative effects of pornography?

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